Capture the wit and wisdom of the founder of Christianity with this well-made action doll…get yours today here at Amazon!

Who knew that a carpenter from Nazareth would one day have his own action figure? Certainly not any of the disciples…they didn’t even make action figures for the general public back then! (Although I’ve heard that the privileged kids in Rome had Maximus action dolls.) But you can capture the wit and wisdom of the founder of Christianity with this well-designed action figure! OK, so maybe it doesn’t perform miracles…I tried that water into wine bit with it and it didn’t work, it’s still firmly H2O (at least as I write this). But I may have a slightly defective model.

It isn’t just the image of the greatest healer known to man, although the beard and robe are a nice touch. The Jesus action doll also talks when you push on his back, just like the real Jesus did! And I can verify that he speaks great inspiration. Here are some examples: “Do (unintelligible) have them do unto you”, “Let those among you (unintelligible) the first stone (phone?)”, and something about a camel-sized needle or something, I can’t quite make it out. But whatever, all of them are inspiring!

And since this is a true action doll, you can have him pose karate-style, ready to smite any luckless Pharisee that dares challenge his mighty doctrine of comforting the poor! The kids will love it!

Photo credit: Gerry Dincher on Best Running / CC BY-SA

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If you really want to cut the cheese like a pro, get yourself this master cheese cutting set! (This review first appeared on Amazon.)

Become A Master at Cutting The Cheese!

My wife and I have held our share of elegant dinner parties, and we always take great care to provide top quality gourmet foods. She pays special attention to the hors d’oeuvres (whatever they are) while I usually handle the main courses. So her part includes the cheeses, and while she took great pains to cut the cheese carefully before, until now she had yet to receive any compliments on her detailed and artful cheese-cutting skills.

So knowing how much effort she puts into it, last Christmas I gave her the CIRCO Cheese Cutting Board Set, and now she gets tons of praise at our dinner parties about how she can so effortlessly and efficiently cut the cheese. At every party we have now, it seems as though we get at least 3 or 4 compliments on the delightfully fragrant cheese that she cuts all by herself. Our guests say things like, “Holy muenster, who cut the cheese?” or “Wow! Did you actually cut the cheese in your kitchen?” The high point was when my mother, who is not known for handing out culinary compliments lightly, actually told my wife: “I don’t like to admit this, but I wish I could cut the cheese like you can!” And that was just music to my wife’s ears. She is absolutely thrilled with this set!

In addition to the boards, the package contains a swivel set that allows for circular cutting; and it has four different tools to make sure you have exactly the right cheese-cutting implement. There is even a little moat on the board for the excessive liquid that sometimes escapes when you cut the cheese. I can’t believe no one thought of this before! Necessity is the mother of invention of course, but sometimes it takes time to even see the obvious. Kudos to the minds at CIRCO!

And the naturally durable hardwood ensures that you will be masterfully cutting the cheese at dinner parties for years to come. It’s everything you could ask for in a cheese-cutting set!

Photo credit: Rochelle Hartman on Best Running / CC BY

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Mountain climbing, I learned from my hapless misadventure, is not just about bagels and proper carb-building. DVD should probably have had a different name. (This review first appeared on Amazon.)

Do NOT Try This at Home!

Seeing as how these English guys were able to climb these huge mountains was fascinating…even as I wondered who was responsible for the camerawork. But seeing that they did it on a diet of bagels unfortunately made me think I could do it myself. I carb up every morning with an Einstein Bros. special (two on weekend days), and while I wouldn’t exactly call myself ready for a marathon, these chaps made this whole rock climbing on a diet of bagels thing look pretty easy. Little did I know.

I went to the local rock climbing center (“Wall Of Denial”) full of both an extra large garlic and egg bagel and an overabundance of completely unjustified bravado. I even passed up on the free introductory lesson (called “It’s Not Just The Bagels”, I stupidly should have paid attention) because I’m literally out there thinking I can scale the “expert” wall in nothing flat like on American Gladiators, simply because I’ve eaten an authentic Manhattan-style bagel (tasty though it was).

I learned after about fifteen very embarrassing minutes that I don’t have a very bright future as a rock climber. Or maybe even as a father after the tightrope snafu. Mercifully, the instructor took time away from teaching the beginners and ended my session, but not before a lot of finger pointing and jocularity from everyone in the place. Yeah, very funny. Mind turning my helmet back around when you get a chance to breathe, jerk?

Nothing wrong with this DVD as far as entertainment value; just keep in mind that these guys are experts, and it’s NOT because they eat bagels. Take it from someone who learned the hard way.

Photo credit: grongar on Best Running / CC BY

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My bad on this one, folks. I’ve often been known to make assumptions based on what words look like. But I’m sharing this so others won’t make the same mistake! If you’re actually looking for a Bichon Frises book, this one will do nicely.

I Really Don’t Know How Good This Is, My Mistake Buying It

Sorry but I didn’t actually read this book. I saw it on the shelf of my local bookstore (“Books-A-Zulu”) and I picked it up without thinking because I read the title wrong. You see, I’ve always been a big fan of french fries, and I guess I thought since my spelling skills aren’t great (this is so embarrassing), that this book taught you how to make “Bitchin’ Fries”.

I should have done a cursory inspection at least, and I suppose in retrospect it was kind of strange that a picture of a dog would be on a cover of a french fry cookbook. But, I mean, who knows? Sometimes cookbooks have pictures of happy kids on the cover, right? I thought maybe the fries were something you fed to your poodle if you made too many of them. I mean, the dog on the cover kind of looks like a poodle.

So anyway, sorry again if this review doesn’t help you out…I just put it up here just on the remote chance that someone else may not grasp the subtle distinction in the spelling and pronunciation. We’re all in this together. Especially french fry cooks and dog owners! Sorry!

Photo credit: sonstroem on Best Running / CC BY

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What makes B&G pickles so great? They’re extra tasty after you keep them warm in your pocket! Go ahead, get yourself a jar on Amazon today!

Is That A Pickle In Your Pocket?

Photo credit: Kristin “Shoe” Shoemaker on Best Running / CC BY-ND

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While this book contains a wealth of information, it does appear to have a glaring omission. I don’t know whether it’s been corrected, but the book is available on Amazon here.

What?!?! Nothing on Dingleberries?

It is to my amazement and shock that for all of its detailed information, this book contains nothing about dingleberries. While I will concede that most of civilized society still regards the humble dingleberry as more of a nuisance than as a bona fide member of the berry kingdom, this should hardly be a reason to exclude them from the berry vernacular. After all, I’m not crazy about raspberries but I wouldn’t single them out from any discussion about what constitutes a legitimate berry.

I can only guess in contemplating the motivation behind the exclusion of the dingleberry from this volume. Perhaps it’s because the dingleberry is not considered a key ingredient of any contemporary delicacy (e.g. pies or muffins) for obvious reasons. I don’t anticipate an emergence of dingleberry milkshakes or some kind of off-the-wall Ben & Jerry’s flavor (like “Dingleberry Manilow” or something). But even as such, culinary function is hardly the only defining characteristic of a berry. So I really can’t comprehend the reasoning. Hopefully the publisher can correct this egregious omission in future editions.

Photo on Best Running

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James Legge covers Confucius’s teachings in great detail, but there is a glaring omission. All the same, it’s worth picking up if you’re an admirer of Confucius.

Doesn’t Really Do Justice To The True Brilliance of Confucius

This book wasn’t terrible or lacking in substance, but the author really misses out on some of the classic wisdom Confucius shared with his people that has been handed down through generations and cultures everywhere. I agree that Confucius was a very wise and powerful sage when it came to issues like political structure regarding Asian nations, and to his credit James Legge documents this very well. But what about all of the more commonplace, apt and lighthearted axioms that the brilliant Chinese philosopher brought us?

Amazingly, the book omits scrutiny of some of Confucius’s best known observations, such as “Man who fly upside down have crack up”, “Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn”, and “Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse”. How could these long-enduring philosophical tenets have been missed, especially as they remain so relevant in modern society? Not only are those quotes funny, but the humor of them is genuinely rooted in a truth and wisdom at a level that only someone of Confucius’s outstanding mental acuity could have achieved.

To be sure, Legge does cover in detail some of Confucius’s great philosophical moments, such as the meeting in Ts’oo with the Duke. I don’t wish to downplay his work in that regard. Legge is obviously a great admirer of Confucius and perhaps this effort was an attempt to avoid rehashing the manifestly obvious aspects of Confucius’s legacy. One can only speculate.

But again, even an in-depth look at the teachings of Confucius should not pass over the more mainstream, popular adages contained in his teachings. I don’t understand the omission of maxims like “Man who stand on toilet high on pot”, “Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night”, and the rarely overlooked and timeless classic, “It is better to be p—ed off than on”. Whatever the deeper implications of Confucius’s impact, it’s hardly questionable whether some of his most memorable gems of wisdom should be included in the discussion. That’s just my opinion.

Photo credit: Gary Soup on Best Running / CC BY

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