Mountain climbing, I learned from my hapless misadventure, is not just about bagels and proper carb-building. DVD should probably have had a different name. (This review first appeared on Amazon.)

Do NOT Try This at Home!

Seeing as how these English guys were able to climb these huge mountains was fascinating…even as I wondered who was responsible for the camerawork. But seeing that they did it on a diet of bagels unfortunately made me think I could do it myself. I carb up every morning with an Einstein Bros. special (two on weekend days), and while I wouldn’t exactly call myself ready for a marathon, these chaps made this whole rock climbing on a diet of bagels thing look pretty easy. Little did I know.

I went to the local rock climbing center (“Wall Of Denial”) full of both an extra large garlic and egg bagel and an overabundance of completely unjustified bravado. I even passed up on the free introductory lesson (called “It’s Not Just The Bagels”, I stupidly should have paid attention) because I’m literally out there thinking I can scale the “expert” wall in nothing flat like on American Gladiators, simply because I’ve eaten an authentic Manhattan-style bagel (tasty though it was).

I learned after about fifteen very embarrassing minutes that I don’t have a very bright future as a rock climber. Or maybe even as a father after the tightrope snafu. Mercifully, the instructor took time away from teaching the beginners and ended my session, but not before a lot of finger pointing and jocularity from everyone in the place. Yeah, very funny. Mind turning my helmet back around when you get a chance to breathe, jerk?

Nothing wrong with this DVD as far as entertainment value; just keep in mind that these guys are experts, and it’s NOT because they eat bagels. Take it from someone who learned the hard way.

Photo credit: grongar on Best Running / CC BY

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